Hopeless romantic

I never knew that holding a torch for someone can be so miserable. Whenever i see your photos, i alway ask myself what is it that caught my attention. Each time the answer is always cheerfulness and cute. I think im a shallow person but when something as serious and sacred as love and relationship are concerned. Looks, boobs and figures are all thrown away. There are no such things as forever and that also apply to look and figures.

A conservative guy like me takes a serious approach to love. To me love is something so important but at the same time fragile that if possible i will not break it. Thats the reason why im single. To say it nicely im romantic person, to put it bluntly im a fool! Because i have a dogma that is if im in a relationship, i will make it my first and last. I like the idea of wedding my first love! I hope that you know too.

I love you with all my heart! You mean everything to me! What am i to you?

I catch a grenade for you

How i wish life don't give us options. Making us choose from 2 options. Yes/No Right/Wrong When there is only one answer to it. I knew it and will stand by it. Not gonna be sway by anythings that may make me change my decision.

2 weeks! Thats the time when i will ask you out for a date. The time to prepare it. The time to prepare myself to ask you out. Love is not blind! Because i saw with my eyes and heart what a nice, lovely and sweet gal that you are. I won't back off now. Its now or never. The time should coincide with our first meeting. My first time mustering up a courage to ask a gal to be my partner. Hahahah.

I want it to be special. To be memorable. To leave a sweet and lasting impression on your mind. Even for one second i still want to believe that you will reciprocate my feeling for you. I never stop believing in that. I am a stubborn person when love is concern. I can hold a torch for someone so steadfastly and long without changing.

That to me is what love is about. Not changing in the face of adversity. Cuz gal i will catch a grenade for you! And you can count on me like 1,2,3 and i be there!

Shortened Distance

Has our distance become shorter? I still remember the first time i fell for you. I haven't gotten up since then. I know people will chide me for holding a torch for you for like 11 months. But all that doesn't matter. What matter is knowing that you are happy and having a great time. Slowly but surely i know that love will blossom between us. If it haven't then the time hasn't come and i will gladly wait for it to come and for you to turn around and smile at me.

I am a guy that never admit defeat. So a rejection doesn't means anything. It just means that you aren't ready yet and wanna know me more. We just take things slowly and maybe my love for you will be reciprocate. Your smile is just like sunshine. A dosage of it never fail to light up my day. Your eyes are like a maze i lost myself while staring at it. Your hairstyle whatever you say about it. I still find it beautiful.

Whenever i make a wish i never fail to wish about you wishing that you will think about me like i think about you. And if we think of each other at the same time. That will be the happiest thing ever.

Ok enough about it, Onto my school life, Its been quite sucky and not that fantastic. Been group with the repeat students like myself and seniors. Not that they are bad. But specifically speaking i can't really start a conversation with them. Not chummy at all!! When doing projects we can discuss about things and so on. But after that when its over. I am the only one left out. Is it becuz that im a guy or is it becuz i never really try to talk to them and warm them to me?

The worst part is that i need to deferred another year for NS! That is a bummer. I was hoping of doing NS with all the people around my age. But nonetheless i will challenge it. To make sure i get enlisted with them whatever it take.

You are the mirage that never should exist. So mesmerising that i just couldn't bear to destroy it. I know im foolish. But who aren't! There are no reason for falling in love with someone. The only reason shld be her personality.

But your Hot n Cold action make me feel lost and confused. Im at loss as to what i shld do. I just don't understand why you don't treat me the same as i treat you. I know that you can't expect someone to love you the same as you love her. But your actions are making me confused.

Is it all an illusion or do i really stand a chance to win your heart. I always think that by going slow you will notice me and remember me. But its like impossible. You never really take the initiative to talk to me. Its was always me that does it. And im tired of that. Cuz im afraid that you find it irritating but on the other hand i wna let you know i never did forget you.

Why is it so difficult to take the initiative to talk to me? I dont think i fit in the category that gals dislike. Or do you like baddies? I try my hardest to make you happy. Think of ways so that i can meet you. But all this were struck off by your indifference.

So is it true that gals would run away from guys that make them happy and run towards the guys that make them cry? Its just a sad truth. Im unsure whether you are in the former. But your action make it seem like so.

But i dont want to give up until you had say a flat No straight at my face.

Different Path

While other ppl are thinking about destinations like China, UK and Australia. Im only thinking about one destination and that is your heart.

I don't really care about IAP where you get to go oversea for attachment. It doesn't really matter to me where i work cuz im not working in the science field anyway. I got my eyes set on a degree in Hospitality and Tourism Management in SMU. So the only place i wna go is your heart.

All the roads lead to a place. It just a matter of where you wna go. There was once i thought my future lie away from here.

Changes are imminent but i just hope that i won't turn into someone unrecognisable that even i dont even know myself. Somehow i feel that im currently standing in a fork road thinking about which road to take. Each road will lead to a seemingly different destination.

I hope that you are ok. Cheer up gal. Everything will be alright. Believe in ppl again.

No Promises

There a things called affinity and fate. I was skeptical of it at first but then when you appeared, i suddenly began to believe in it. Cuz i didn't notice you at first but it was your two friends that caught my eyes. It could be that their dancing skills make me go whoa!

Then when during the last 2 rehearsals before the event. I mustered the courage to ask you to be my dance partner. I didn't realised i could be so brave to do that. And with the time spent with you dancing and the physical interaction during the dance which from a shy, barely touching arm clinging to finally clinging our arm together make me realised that i had fallen for you.

The cheerfulness and bubbly personality was something that could add color to my quiet and peaceful life. Thats why im relentlessly talking to you when you online and also thru smsing. Seems like that idea backfired cuz you are going further and further away from my sight. What shld i do before you will be back in my sight again?

Is being honest, quiet and goody-two shoes wrong? It bought nothing but trouble to me during my sec sch life. Being bullied everyday is nth new, being make used by others (Thats the only way i thot i can feel that i belong), eating alone during recess is everything that make me what im tdy. Maybe its my naivety, thinking that by being quiet and suspicious of others will prevent me from being hurt again.

And my luck with gals is always at the other end of the scale. You too seem more interested in talking with my friends than with me. Is it becuz of my shy nature that caused it or is it becuz you don't like talking to me. I tried my best and i got nothing. Im scared of rejection and also the fear of pouring my heart and soul at the wrong person. Becuz im still single from then till now becuz i want to find my first love who will also be my last.

You could say im stupid but then with marriage in mind when dating. I will be doing my utmost for this relationship. Giving my best and pouring all my heart and soul to maintain it. A relationship is all about giving and taking. it also is also about tolerating the others flaws.

For you i am willing to do it. Friends say that im too quiet and i don't deny that. But for you im willing to be vocal and outgoing. And maybe smile more to brighten up your day. So won't you give me a chance if i decide to confess to you. This is fate becuz you are not the type of gal i like (I gt a thing for tanned gal) but still i fall for you. Its your personality that attract me and your look is something that enhance the personality. For now, good luck for your O lvl.

Face Value

Perfect and imperfect, two different words with two vastly different meanings. But why is it that we are are stubbornly holding on to the former instead of the latter? Becuz we are a proud animal. I don't deny that im not one of them. We always think that perfect is always the best word to describe ourselves. But then we failed to realised that even the best have also erred. So what make them think that they are perfect! If we are imperfect than what give us the right to expect a better showing from other people!

Beauty a word that can describe alot of things. For us, it is always about look, look and still look. But then we failed to see that if we look at a different perspective the so-called beauty also have an ugly side. A person that is beautiful from the inside is really the most beautiful. It something that even me still think otherwise. Becuz we see things at face value and failed to see that there are something more important than look.

Friends are those that will take the bus with you when your Ferrari broke down. True enough. Real friends will take the time and effort to help you when you are in trouble and lend you a shoulder or listening ear when you are down. Im fortunate to have this kind of friends. But me, im not a true friend. Im petty, impatient, unhelpful and wickedly make use of other people misery for my own entertainment. I can also be demanding and expect alot from them. What rights have i to be in their company when i myself is not even half as good as them.