But all those impulse choices never prepared me for this one that will top my list of regretted choice. And my actions to accept this choice had been half-hearted. Temptations always seem to prey on me. To them, i am an easy target. Cause i have a weak mind that succumb to them easily. Thus it had always stop me from making a full- hearted action.
Maybe that kinda explain why my life journey is very bumpy without any big achievement. Even something simple like love had elude me. I am someone who is proud, stubborn and willful. So this type of setbacks had hit me hard. I don't concede defeat easily but then i don't make any concrete action to justify my will to turn a defeat into a win. So what's the point of having a strong will to win when you don't take any action.
My setbacks in love had really hit me very hard. My optimism for love is now wavering and i am really unsure whether i should make known my feeling to a certain gal. After all that i tried to do and the reply she given. I am skeptical about it.
Despite all the claims that i made about liking pretty gal. i finally realised that what i am looking for in a gal is not really about looks but about her personality and spiritual. Its that infectious cheerfulness that will infect me. And also a gal that has a compassion for themselves as well as for others. She sees the good in people regardless of how bad they are. If a gal with fits that criteria i will most certainly go gaga over her. If she is tanned and had long luscious hair and also a pair of eyes that are beautiful. It will be an added bonus.
Love at first sight or love that grow over time? For me it will be the latter. I don't believe in love at first sight. Cause what you see is their physical appearance and not their inner self. I tend to believe in spending time with a gal so that i can get to know her better before i will know whether i like her. Maybe the feeling you get when you first met her is the most genuine. But attracted and falling in love is two different matters.
Mostly people will choose the former. Because they got the fluttering feeling and an intuition that tell them that its the one. Genie Zhuo is one such person that believe in it.
My setbacks in love hit me hard. And it is because i can't forget and put it down easily. If i know its her from that moment. I will devote myself to her and her alone. I can't forget her easily. So what should i do now? Ask her out or try to forget her?
On another note, i am going to save money to learn street jazz and house. Its just another step up in my process to be the same as her.
