爱我好吗? 就算是一秒也好。 想在你身边说的一句话。你是我的独家快乐!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
The Past, the future
Fighting the storm in my heart. I don't wanna continue the mistake of falling in love now. I need to meet her which is gonna be hard and change myself continuously so that i will be the one to tug the string in her heart when i meet her. No matter how long it take, i will gonna reach the front of the line to be the ideal guy for her. Maybe it is something stupid, foolish and crazy. But for me it is something i want to do. She inadvertently change me and make me realize the power of dream. If i fall in love now, it just means that the willpower in me is not greater than the temptation in me.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Teeing up for the best shot at Goal!
With every hour i procrastinate, a dent is form on my wildest dream! Losing momentum or shld i say as the novelty wears off, im finding myself gradually back to the old me. I have to grit my teeth and fulfill my dream no matter what. Its hold everything that i want to shield from the incoming storm.
I can sense that the storm is filled with everything imaginable that will put a stop to my dream and goal. Life is really fraughted with disasters that are catastrophic. But i want to be one that can turn things around and put me in an advantage position.
Am i too quiet for my own good? Am i too cool and aloof to be around with? Am i too kind and good-natured that make me a target to be bully? Is it because of this that no one really show me respect and give a damn to what im feeling right now? Is it wrong of me to put everyone before me so that even my feeling and emotion are compromised? Am i too gullible beyond expectation?
Friday, April 16, 2010
Life sucks FML
I once heard Taiwanese singer Show Lo say in his show and was amazed and even in awe of this quote. 命运靠左手,机会靠右手,努力靠双手 which literally translated as fate makes use of your left hand, chance makes use of your right hand, hard work make use of both hands. It really encourage me and make me realise something that i never realise before. Being born as intelligent does not necessary means that you will ace exams, while those that are not that intellect will not fail their exams. Hard work coupled with the intelligent that they are born with will lead them to scale a far more greater heights. Hard work for those that are not that intellect can lead them to be on par with those that are intelligent. All that we need is hard work!
I really pity myself for scouring the internet to find inspiring quotes that motivates me to work hard. Can't i even work hard using my willpower? I dunno that im so useless. I revised for the exam but it still can't guarantee me a pass! Woot! What a feat Ashley! Need to repeat 2 modules for this year and on top of that you can't even take 2 modules for this semester. 3rd year will be damn busy and need more time to graduate than my classmate. FML
I practically want to shout at the top of my voice so that those living in heaven can hear. They practically are cruel and unfair to me. If they want to do that to me then i will practically take them head-on. And let them know that what they had done to me is wrong.
This semester need to repeat cell bio. Need to see useless lecturer in action, late, late, late..... that the only thing she capable of. Detestable and disgusting!
I have no love lost for those that always trick people when ask abt their thoughts abt exams. It really something dark and sinister. I hope i won't be trick again. No! I won't trust it again! Never ever.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
The Devil that make a Sadist
A devil lurks around in me causing distress and anger. It alway find faults with everyone and i always yield to what the devil wants me to do. Scary isn't it. Time and again it give rise to a desire to hate them. The devil is jealousy.
It always me envying the success of other ppl while im still at the pit. I am always jealous of them and angry that they do practically nothing and can be at the spot that i always want but can never reach no matter how hard i try.
It like im a sadistic that practically want everyone to fall while im the only one standing and gloating at their failure. Am i a devil in disguise? Im disgusted at this envious thought of mine. This thought always disappear when someone lend me a helping hand, i practically melt away by this gesture and i become the person i always were.
Maybe it because i absolutely adore being reveled in the limelight. It like everyone acknowledging me and my success. It a pleasure thats know no boundary. But now i dunno whether it a pleasure or a torture. I don't want to be a person that eyes something that i don't have now. I want to work for it so that the pleasure will throughly be genuine.
The one week that i was away from Singapore, i thought about alot of things and have alot of fun. I gained deeper insight into things that i once was stumped at. All this philosophical thoughts alway make me a better person than im now. It what i alway believe in.
I put a full stop to this philosophical thought for now, while i go and do a mental calculation about all the sweets that i bring back and how i share with you all. Im still the same that for sure except for the addition of a hardened determination and resolve to succeed.
If you are watching this post, yes you! An insult can trigger alot of emotions and feeling. It how you look at it. The worst thing you can do is being angry cuz then you are walking straight into the trap that the person laid out. Never mind what the person say for you know you have improved from when we first met.
What you think means more than anything else in your life. More than what you earn, more than where you live, more than your social position, and more than what anyone else may think about you.
George Matthew Adams
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