SADD!!!

Today i feel so sad. I dunno when i get this feeling. But e fear of failing my modules juz take a toll on me. I dunno whether i cn do extremely well to be able to pass it. Failing one is bad enough but failing three. It make me feel very sad and angry. In front of my classmates, i act like it is no big deal and in a nonchalant way. But deep down in my heart, i was feeling very scared and my heart was actually crying. My bio teacher told me to start doing revision as i told her i only revise for one day. But how could i be able to do that. I know tad im not a science person and asking me to like science and even tis course is hard work. But im trying my hardest. People juz tend to look at e result but nt e process. They saw me getting Fs and juz deduced tad im nt revising hard enough. But im working my HARDEST! I even do night studying for my bio,inorg chem and phychem. Im doing everything i cn to do well. But it juz nt working. Juz now while in e bathroom, i dunno wad happen to me. But i gt tis feeling of helplessness and fear. It caused me to cry so hard and i was like saying everything tad was inside my heart. All e fear, frustration, helplessness and bitterness it juz came out. I dunno why but it juz wouldnt stop and i cried harder and harder. I hated tis type of me. The helpless me. I wna let my parents see me wif gd results wif happy face but each time i only make them feel sadder and sadder. 

Today during sch, i was again laughing at my own result cuz i dowan them to noe that i feel ashamed of my results and look at me in a diff ways. I have pride too! But each time i make fun of my own result i juz got worse and worse. To a point tad i want to run away from there. I dont wna listen to anything science at all. This could oso be why i was so irritated in bio class. Im sorry to any of them if my irritation caused them to be distracted in some way.